Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
