i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
