well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
