He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
