I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
