You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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