If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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