I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
