that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
