Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
