We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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