Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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