the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
