RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
