he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
