id be glad to
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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