tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
