Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
