That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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