Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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