plz talk dirty to me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When did angry sex become our thing?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
