you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
