The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
His wife found the thong I āforgotā in his glovebox
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