I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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