I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
