what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
