she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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