By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are two peas in an std pod
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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