You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
