kristin has been a bad kristin
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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