k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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