so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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