my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
