Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
