But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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