MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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