Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What drink are we having for lunch?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
