im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
ok first of all what the fuck
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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