using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
