I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
