That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
