She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
