im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
