Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
