There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
