Please, let me fuck your mom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
