Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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