I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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