i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't notice because vodka
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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