Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
