coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
