I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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